Answering kids’ tough questions about divorce

Pierre Domercq Child Custody and Visitation

It’s very understandable when those planning to divorce want to get their ducks in a row before filing. It’s not uncommon for spouses to wait for the “right” time to announce the divorce. They may contact a lawyer well ahead of time, which is always advisable even if a person is on the fence, or even make copies of all their financial documents. These steps are often taken in order to gain some sense of control in what may feel like an unstable time in one’s life.
While a lot of the logistical concepts of a divorce can be worked out through planning and the help of professionals, when it comes to dealing with children involved in the divorce, things are not so cut and dry. While emotions are running high, parents try to stay calm and collected around their children in order to give them a sense of security, especially when answering the “why” question.
Of course, most children want to know why their parents are breaking up and no matter how organized and ready a person is to file their papers, a parent may never fully be ready for these types of tough questions.
Readers were recently asked how they handled the “why” question and a lot of parents seem to have similar ideas on the matter. Most parents agree that honesty is the best policy, but with minimal details, especially for younger kids. Many parents also agreed that badmouthing their ex is a no-no, as that individual is still the child’s parent. Although every parent may take a different approach when it comes to answering these tough questions, if California parents keep their child’s best interests in mind, it can go a long way toward making them feel secure and loved.
Source: Huffington Post, “Divorce And Children: Should You Tell Your Kids Why You’re Getting A Divorce?” Sept. 9, 2013