We know July 4th holidays can be rough after a divorce. Holidays as a rule require some strategy development for those who are contemplating a divorce, separating or recently divorced.
Holidays are a time we tend to draw close to friends and family. Children love the excitement around July 4th. It is mid-summer and July 4th is usually a day of family or friend gatherings, picnics or grilling, parties in the park or your own back yard. When those patterns must change, such as during a divorce or when your are sharing child custody and parenting time with your ex, it can be helpful to have a few ideas on how to keep the day lighter while adjusting to new patterns.
The first thing is to forgive yourself for not being in the most celebratory mood. This is a normal response for any human who has been through your recent experiences and substantial change. Give yourself a break, and know it is quite normal to be missing your kids or not participating in old experiences and traditions to be challenging for one’s mood. However, allowing yourself to sink deeper into this feeling will only make the day harder. So let’s talk about what might help.
July 4th holidays can be rough after a divorce because of the changes in patterns and the absence of specific people. It is generally better to be around people than to be alone when you are working through issues like this, but it’s important to ensure they are the right people. Don’t participate in any activities which you feel obligated to do. Being around people with too many questions about the divorce or the guilt trips of family or friends is not on the menu today!
If you are alone, do something different and special. Perhaps a visit to a park for a walk or hike or a drive down to sunset cliffs are in order. Is there a restaurant you’ve been yearning to try? Is it time to visit the San Diego County Fair or to avoid it? The power is in your hands, and a few simple choices can make all the difference in your day.
The same friends who have helped to get you through to this point know July 4th holidays can be rough after a divorce. Invest your time into things you enjoy or wish to learn about or experience, as as well as with people, teachers and friends who will help you to try or learn something new or simply get the most out of life. You’re working to find new balance in life, and July 4th is going to be a beautiful day. Enjoy it. You deserve it!