Planning the Steps Prior to a Divorce Mediation

Pierre Domercq Mediation

Are you discussing issues associated with the divorce and hitting an impasse?  Have you considered mediation?  Mediation is a confidential, private, cost-effective and timely alternative for resolving disagreements or disputes associated with a divorce.  Planning the steps prior to a divorce mediation establishes the foundation for an effective and fruitful mediation.

The first step is to create a list of a few potential family law mediators.  Look for a mediator with extensive experience in North County family law courts as well as mediation itself.  An effective mediator should have a thorough knowledge of family law.  Your mediator should also have extensive experience in actual family law cases.  Your mediator should be able to help you to understand the law as it applies to your case and the dispute at hand, as well as how our courts have handled similar cases in the past.    The combined experience of representing clients before our family law courts as well as helping couples to work through and resolve issues in a mediation provides valuable insight and guidance in your own mediation.

The next step is to narrow your list and interview two or three mediators to find the best fit for your unique circumstances.  Look for a mediator with a long track record of successful mediation experience.  Ask about the education, mediation training and certification they have completed.  Ask about the process the mediator prefers to use.  Will you meet in the same room as your former spouse or does the mediation start in separate rooms?  How soon can your mediation begin?

Planning the steps prior to a divorce mediation help you to achieve better results.  Gather all the documentation and information associated with the issue(s) at hand.

Begin to consider the attitude and mindset you will bring to the mediation process.  Your ex is likely to say some things (purposefully or unintentionally) which may hurt you, or which are simply untrue.  The mediator will not accept these things on the surface and can see through unreasonable positions and statements.  Trust the mediator to guide the discussion and find common ground while recognizing and dismissing red herrings and falsehoods.  It is the mediator’s job to manage the process and help the parties to reach a fair and constructive agreement.

Your job is to keep a balanced perspective and not to allow your own emotions to become inflamed.  Breathe.  Listen.  Intently.  There will be plenty of time to process your emotions and the issues which arise outside of the actual mediation, and it is healthy to do so.  Plan to keep an open mind, a calm spirit and a sharp focus.  Planning the steps prior to a divorce mediation helps you to be fully prepared and present during the mediation itself.  That is one of the best things you can do to ensure a successful outcome.