Burke & Domercq, APC wishes all in Carlsbad and North County San Diego a peaceful and Happy Thanksgiving. The holidays are a time of year when families draw together in gratitude for their blessings and to share time with one another.
It is also, unfortunately, a season when the cracks in a relationship can become even more apparent. Historical data has shown a spike in the filing of divorce paperwork in the first few months of each year after the holiday season is completed. Are households simply making nice to get through the holidays in these cases?
Perhaps, but this can actually be helpful in a way many would not expect. One of the best pieces of advice we can provide regarding a divorce in Carlsbad or North County is this:
Pre-plan carefully and work to remove emotions and bitterness from decision making as much as possible during a divorce.
Pre-planning your divorce involves working with our Certified Family Law Specialists to discuss the issues which are most important to you, develop specific goals and objectives as well as the strategies to achieve them.
Emotional decisions taken are rarely fundamentally good decisions. We encourage all of our clients to work to set aside emotion as much as possible when approaching matters surrounding the resolution of a divorce. There is plenty of time for reflecting upon what has happened, identifying what one can learn, as well as experiencing the loss and bitterness associated with events surrounding the end of a marriage.
One must be cautious in all communications with the other party during a divorce as well. Anything you leave in a voicemail, write in an e-mail or text or post on social media could come back to hurt your interests in a divorce.
In this way, working to establish a positive environment for the holidays while contemplating a potential divorce can help to provide some practice for how things can go if you choose to move forward with separation and divorce. Practice showing respect to a spouse with whom you may soon be co-parenting your children, even when their behavior may not warrant such pleasantries. Consider the strategies, activities and practices which bring you calm and peace. Ongoing self-care is an important part of the divorce process.
“Making nice” for the holidays is better for you personally as well. Limiting or removing the negative emotions, bitter conversations and harsh communications between you and your spouse can improve your own quality of life and provide the space to reflect and make sound decisions.
If you are considering the future of a relationship during the holidays we wish you well, and hope you can embrace this opportunity to catch your breath, gather your thoughts and establish a pattern of constructive communications which will serve you regardless of the decisions you face.
We are always thankful for our hard-working team who work so diligently to improve the lives and outcomes of our clients. We are thankful for our clients, and the opportunity to live and work in such a beautiful community. We wish all a peaceful and Happy Thanksgiving.